Sun been down for days A pretty flower in a vase A slipper by the fireplace A cello lying in its case
Soon she's down the stairs Her morning elegance she wears The sound of water makes her dream Awoken by a cloud of steam She pours her daydream in a cup A spoon of sugar sweetens it up
Sun been down for days A winter melody she plays Perhaps a letter with a dove Perhaps a stranger she could love
And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat And she fights for her life on the train She looks at the rain as it pours And she goes Nobody knows
And she fights for her life And she goes Nobody knows
-- Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie
The music video is very special =) Made of still frames, very creative and artsy. I love this kind of music on calm weekend mornings. Lazing around daydreaming with a warm cup of tea while the sun shines into your room, or you listen to the rain pound outside. It's really relaxing.
I feel pretty strained lately. I'm getting fed up with this place, and home seems like some far away world that didn't even happen. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, and sometimes I'm just real afraid that I've been trudging through a load of this in hopes of a bright future but it won't be at all. I want to cherish these years of youth and live it with arms wide open, but I just can't make myself do it. I want to go home. But is it possible? Is it the better decision? What if it turns out to be a terrible one? Is it better to let it live on pure and happy in my memories and just clench my teeth through these few years?
So it's finally cooled down some in Taiwan and you can actually feel the "crispness" in the air =] Lovin' it. It really got me thinking about home though, and how much you could really feel holiday season coming, you know?
You can practically smell it in the air. Right when you step inside a house, the toasty warmth and cozy smells hit you like a giant soft blanket I love seeing holiday decorations too. There used to be more in earlier years, but even now a lot of people go all out in decorating. It's so pretty at night when you walk/drive down the street and just see all the houses glowing with lights and reindeer and Santas. In a lot of stores and restaurants you hear Christmas carols, which adds to the whole atmosphere. Christmas tree!! I loved the way it lit up the dark room it sat in... I was always so excited for Christmas Eve.
And snow Who can forget snow~ Going to sleep while watching a heavy snowfall outside is one of the most exciting yet peaceful feelings ever! The night sky often seemed pale pink-ish because the snow would reflect the moonlight. Freshly fallen snow was so soft and fluffy and sparkly :D Waking up to the morning with clear blue skies and fields of pure white everywhere You never get too old for snow!
It makes the steaming cup of hot chocolate all the more worthwhile!
Ahhh I love Chicago =] I know I gotta live there when I grow up.
I cannot push myself to keep walking forward where nothing but shadows reign.
"He's not coming back, is he?" The words set off something inside me. They tumble around in my head, but as far as I am aware nothing has broken through to my surface. Her tone is nonchalant, her words are not challenging. But the moment of understanding passes over us and then the wound tears and splits open, gushing and twinging with pain and fright and weariness.
"No. No, he's not coming back. I told him not to." And then I need to be alone, I am relieved that I was already standing and I climb the stairs to the silent drone of the other side. As soon as my foot meets the cold tile, the cool air wraps around me and pushes back the heat that had circulated its way through my body.
I cry. I cry because I am lonely and it hurts and I am afraid.
When I open my eyes, the sky is still dark in shades and hues of blue. The grass is tinged with moisture from the mist in the air, and I shiver involuntarily even as I draw my knees in closer. My skin is cold, I feel sick. It feels like someone has kneaded my temples like dough and pulled and tugged the nerve endings of my brain.
"Hey," The alarm in his voice brings me to my senses. "What's wrong?" It's only then that I notice my face is streaked with tears. He reaches up and places his palm to my face tenderly, as if I have been burned. I can't say anything. I shake my head.
"Shh," He presses me to him and strokes my hair. "You have to stay strong." He knows. I feel it in his touch, and the steady rise and fall of his chest.
My voice is muffled by his shoulder. "You won't remember." "Hm?" "Nothing."
The first ray of sunlight banishes the darkness that had overtaken the earth just moments before. The last twinkling stars of the night vanish.
It's over, just like I have seen so many times. And like always, I am not ready to say good-bye.
I wonder if I've just learned to grow numb to everything that happens.
There's more life in my step today when I walk out the first period classroom. Immediately the sunbeams fall upon my face, and the whole world darkens before growing vibrant with color again. Finally the series of cloudy, wet days have ended and the sky is clear. I look up like I always do, stopping for just a moment to admire the open pale blue before continuing on my way.
By the time I finish hopping up the stairs to the roof, the sun seems to have grown brighter. I would love it if life could just slow down into a quiet amble. I've always wanted to wake up before dawn on a clear day to see the sky, whether on cool dew-covered grass or a rooftop. It's so noisy. There's never a moment without the sound of vehicles wheezing out exhaust and the loud whoosh of tires on asphalt.
I'm restless. Ever since I came to this city, it's not natural anymore to just sit around and look at the sky. My feet are already carrying me back into the building as I shoulder a heavy pack full of books.
Each step I take brings me closer back down to reality. The reality where I grow steadily lonelier, where I lose more hope and innocence each day. The reality where I am just another particle to the world. The reality where there is no more life in my step than in my eyes.
To think that that place still exists in the same universe. That the sun I felt outside is shining upon that same place. Sometimes I begin to wonder if it was all a long dream and nobody else knows anything about it. Sometimes I wonder if I have just made it all up in my head. It's so far away that it's painful to remember. Like being shown a future that you must wait ten years for.
Feeling this terrible restlessness that wants to claw its way out of my chest. Getting light-headed with the overwhelming emotion, and trying to jam it back into its safe compartment in my mind and shove it to the bottom. Seeing flashes of all the memories. A grassy field, a calm lake. Trees and streets shifting and morphing with each passing season. People laughing, crying, talking to me. Waving and hugging and shouting to each other. A city illuminated by beautiful lights, then a shady, cool clearing under trees that let just enough sunlight in to cast a warm glow around the area. It's painful.
It's so real. And before I know it, I'm wrapping my arms tightly around myself and rocking back and forth. I don't realize that my eyes were shut tightly until I open them and the dim light from the classroom re-enters and it's the same as always. Why is it so dark? My eyes dart to the window, and see that the clouds have shrouded the sun once again, enveloping the whole city in gray.
A newly married couple passes by the window, strolling slowly along the path. I know they're newly married because the girl is latched onto the man's arm, head leaned against his shoulder and they are young and laughing and their eyes have this shine to them and I just know.
When they're finally out of sight, a strong wave rears high above me, engulfing me in the loneliness that has become a plague. I lower my head to my knees. Right now, the other place doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with this dull, gray world. Right now it simply does not exist. My memories can do nothing but give me comfort in frayed images and blurry visions of the life that I used to breathe.
Somewhere I am sure I am smiling at him and he is stroking my cheek and we are happy. The fire crackles and radiates warmth into the room as evening falls to night and the stars fill the sky.
It is a cracked mirror that I gaze into endlessly.
I have forgotten what it feels like to nestle into his arms and feel their solid protection around me. To cool my forehead against his neck and close my eyes and listen to his steady heartbeat.
Even the dim light seems blinding when I lift myself from the self-induced darkness and return to society. Outside, raindrops begin to fall.
I dunno why, but I was feeling so elated/inspired/motivated yesterday! Today too, but this week was so busy and tiring. Today was food fair, and although the weather sucked, JHS was pretty successful. We had the traditional baseball throw to knock cans of sand down, but it wasn't as popular as throwing water balloons at the members. It kind of hurt though! A lot of the balloons weren't filled very full, so it was really hard to break them... it was okay though
So... now for the real thing!! Today, the main highlight that I shall be presenting to you is...
I remember being so excited about this when I was 11 years old... now I'm a fully fledged 15 year old, and still soo excited!
The release date for Japan has been confirmed! Dec. 17th, 2009! I've been working hard on Japanese. Without a doubt, I'll be playing the original Japanese version. No more watered down dialogue and plot and emotion through crappy dubbing... it's all going to be authentic and straight from the heart. Even if my level isn't there right now... I'm working hard every day, studying by myself. It's such a great feeling, when I understand something new.
Back to the game. We've always known Square's graphics don't lose to anyone else... but it's gotten to a whole new level. The first screenshot is in CG, but the next two are both normal cutscenes... and the last one is in-battle! Imagine how easy it was to be absorbed into the game world in past games... imagine it now, with is so much more ethereal and real at the same time.
Ethereal, I think that's a good word to describe Final Fantasy... the style of Square.
I was able to get a hold of released tracks so far, and they're really good quality... like the real soundtrack. They sound magnificent. I've never stopped listening to FF soundtracks, especially when I work on art, or I just need some time to think... or to get pumped, or to be happy... FF music does it all.
They've really changed from the classic battle theme, but it's a GREAT change. The climax is epic!! And the main theme (I'm guessing it'll be played on the menu screen too) and some of the music from the cutscenes (Purge, Underworld)... I love the way the waterdrop-like sounds kinda pierce straight to your heart. I love clean sounds, especially when they really just strike a chord with you. (Forgive the pun.)
If someone wants the songs, I'll happily send it to you.
I'm so psyched. I don't have a PS3 or Xbox 360, but my friend does. I think FFXIII comes out on the first day of our winter break... I'm planning on playing it through with as short of breaks as possible to really experience it.
Ahh, but reality seems so uninteresting in comparison. It's kind of bad でもまっ いい
Here's a couple trailers if anyone's interested =) Some spoiler alerts though, specially in the second one.
Who can forget snow~ Going to sleep while watching a heavy snowfall outside is one of the most exciting yet peaceful feelings ever! 
